I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
