I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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