Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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