she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
