Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
