U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
