oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My vagina just recognized that song.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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