i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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