I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
