Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
