I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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