My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
this just has baby written all over it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Still dying that you shit outside
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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