ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
