it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
