If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
