Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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