well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
