dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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