you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
