We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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