Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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