I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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