I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
