even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
