im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
