I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
