he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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