I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
