Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
