I haven't been this sober since birth.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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