You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
