Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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