when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
