I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
