K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
