butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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