I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize