I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
