Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
