That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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