yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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