When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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