I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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