I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
