she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
