I wish I could punch you in the face.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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