just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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