Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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