I forgot how hot balto sounded
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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