i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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