Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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